Many guys have LEARN the behavioral patterns and mindsets that made them successful with girls, which means many guys have TRANSFORMED themselves from total “chodes” (wussies, unsuccessful with women) to absolute STUDS – they weren’t necessarily born that way.

This article will deal with the “inner aspect” of becoming good with women – if you have at least SOME EXPERIENCE with how the interaction between human beings work, and you probably do unless you have been a recluse for your whole life… you will know that what you say, as in the exact words, is not always enough…and that there is this thing called “subcommunication”, which cannot be faked very easily.

For example, “confidence” and “being relaxed and comfortable with yourself” (which means you are not trying to be someone else… you are not faking it to the girls, and you are presenting to the girl your “best attractive self”) are two things you cannot easily fake.

If you want to learn how to talk to women, and which pick up lines to use in order to help you on your journey of becoming an attractive guy – refer to the respective articles.

You Can Learn It – It Is In Our Genetics To Be Attractive To Females

There is nothing in this life you cannot learn, especially when it comes to such BASIC skills as the ones for reproduction and attracting the opposite sex. That means ANYONE who is A MAN (male)… can learn how to get girls because we were born to be compatible with women. The reason why you are currently not good with women is mainly because you have learnt… bad behavorial patterns, probably from your friends, from mass media, or from your parents.

What seperates the winners from the losers in this life are not the genetics, the good looks, how “lucky” you were when the GOD decided whether you will be successful with women or not… none of that matters. What matters is if you have the right mindset, the right understanding of how girls operate, and how to attract them.

How To Get Girls – What Parents Told You Is Not Good Advice

If you want to get girls, you first need to forget whatever that you’ve learnt so far from your parents. You also need to forget whatever that you’ve learnt from mass media, particularly from the mainstream movies.

Those are the ones where the nice guys “always seem to get lucky”, and the main heroines become attracted to these guys “from pity”… Quite a cliche formula, if you think about it, that has been used by Hollywood for many years. (Just think of the main heroes of Spiderman and Transformers, for example.)

What you do need to understand is that girls don’t like “nice guys”. They want guys who are assertive, confident, dominant, etc.. The guys who know what they want and go for it.

Change Your Behavior – And You Will Change Your Results

If you are a nice guy (friend zone? not knowing how to ask a girl out? constantly being rejected by girls? Sounds familiar, right?) then you need to stop being “nice”.

That does not mean that you should become a total idiot, who  by the way, usually find themselves in almost always abusive relationships. If you want hot and high quality girls, you need to learn the behaviors and mindsets that are attractive to girls in general. That means, you should reinvent yourself and your understanding of how women work.

Here are some things that may be holding you back from being an attractive man:

• You constantly try to please girls
• You lack confidence
• You don’t believe in yourself which translates into lack of belief in your actions, in your words, even in the way you walk.
• You are afraid to get sexual with girls (touching, hugging, leading physically, etc.)
• You are afraid of just talking to people!

These do not make a complete list, but they are one of the many indicators of bad behaviors… indicators that literally make women run away from you.

So What Do You Do In Order To Become Successful With Girls?

In order to get girls, you have two options – you either become a person who is good with women, which would mean that you would force yourself to become confident, social, fun and assertive, or you get pick up lines that will help you become that way (make you “appear that way”).

The choice is up to you, but I do recommend that you pick the first path – that you work on yourself and make YOURSELF a better person, a better man, rather than covering your true self with fake pick up lines, mechanical “routines”, etc.. Reinventing yourself into a better, more attractive man.

It will pay off in the long run – for sure.

Okay, So How To

Let’s pretend that the girl is in your social circle. And let’s pretend that it is not some life or death kind of situation where if you screw something up, the whole social circle turns against you, takes you to prison and then hangs you in public. Thankfully, we do not live in Medievel times, but in 21st century.

So, if she is in your social circle, that means several things

• She feels safe around you because you are not a total stranger. Even if you’ve never talked, the mere fact that you are from the “same tribe”, makes it easier for you to approach the girl and make it happen.
• Because of that, social circle can be lower key, and you don’t need to work as hard on getting her attention and keeping up with the high energy of a night club.

Whatever the case, I recommend that you first flirt with her a bit. I have articles on that topic somewhere on this website, so feel free to explore. Oh, maybe you will find my how to talk to girls and how to impress a girl articles to be helfpul.

Shortly speaking, you want to just be yourself when you are talking to a girl. But it also depends on the type of that girl. Usually, when a girl is shy, you should approach her low-key, but if she is super confident and smart, you probably can get away with displaying more polarizing “gangster” (or let’s just call it “straightforward”) kind of personality.

Again, this whole game is about pinging off her vibe – does she feel comfortable around you or not? You will get it if you approach and try to feel the interaction. Don’t forget to lead.

Here Is Your Gameplan

When you see that girl, you ask yourself “What do I want to say or do right now?” Then, approach her and do that. Say whatever in the moment you are thinking. Be normal, at first, and don’t be too forward. In fact, being straightforward IS a good tactic, but …the thing is…

I mean, it depends on where you are coming from (are you VERY socially awkward or not, for example), but assuming that you actually got interested in this topic, and you REALLY don’t know how to ask a girl out, I will assume that you aren’t the most sociable or comfortable with women type of guy.

Here Is What My Friends Advise For Social Circle Game

For social circle, you want to really set it so that the girl sees you as a potential mate (wow, that sounds like we are discussing some biology and mating strategies of primates), and not just a friend.

For that, they recommend that you flirt with all the girls, which is something that I can definitely see working. The girls will notice that you are not just an innocent (read – completely unnattractive) nice guy, and have “some dangerous edge” to your behavior.

Confrontation means attraction .

Once such reputation of a guy who lacks morality (I’m being overly politically correct here) is established, the girls will feel like it is okay to sleep with such a guy. Weird, I know, but that’s what needs to be done – girls need to know that you a sexual creature, and this is what you will see in most “bad guys”.

While there are definitely attractive “Nice Guys” (read – confident guys who have some human values), I’d advise that you first just copy the behaviorial patterns that work, even if the guy seems like he is someone you would not like.

Now, What Do You Say To Her To Ask Her Out?

Ok, so you now want to know what exactly to say to her in order to ask her out?

Provided that the rapport has been established, or at least, you are 100% confident that she likes you, which by the way, is the topic for another article – how to tell if the girl likes you (not up yet, but you should expect some very controversial information inside, just like with any other type of dating advice), you just approach her and tell her that you want to meet her.

Say it with full assertiveness. Don’t make it a big deal. However, lay it all out on the table. “Hey, why don’t we meet somewhere after the college/job is over? I really want to …

If the attraction is REALLY hot, then you just close with “give me your number” and “let’s get out of here after the classes/work”. You get the drill. You gotta close. You gotta put it all on the table at some point. You can’t willy-wally around the subject forever (I’ve seen MANY guys have problems with that! Making that “Closing move”).

The only difference is whether you are trying to cook her slowly or fast, so to speak. How high is her “buying temperature”? How compliant she seems? That’s the trick.

Here Is An Example Of Two Pick Up Lines (My Favorite Ones) That Work:

1. “Hey”. Say it with a smile, don’t forget to come right at her face, and have a good, friendly vibe that just pulls people in. Ideally, you also need a very challenging voice to come across like a gorilla, so to speak – just remember to smile and have that disarming vibe at the same time.

2. “I like you” or “You are cute”. Same principles should apply to this pick up line, and the same prerequisites need to be adhered to to make it work. Basically, just be confident, or at least appear to be confident, smile and approach that girl and tell her with full honesty and with no ego (as in, with no ego shield that tries to tell you “well, I will smack talk her if she rejects me!” – no big deal. Be disarming.).

Here Are Some Of The Pick Up Lines That You Could See On TV – My Favorite Ones Are From Will Smith

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NH4BJ9B1lrw

Remember, though, I personally think that all these pick up lines for girls are a little bit cheesy, and it will be very hard to pull them off without coming off as a try-hard (and guess what? Being a try-hard is the last thing you want to be if you want a girl to really like you).

Anyway, these are funny. I don’t recommend using them, though. Although if you can pull of this Will Smith manner of speech – then ok. Usually, though, they can get you either a laugh or an awkward moment. After that, you still need to make a conversation going.

3. “Girl, you look so good I wish I could plant you and GROW A WHOLE FIELD OF YO”.
4. “I think I’ve seen some pictures of you before… Oh yeah, it was in a dictionary next to KABLAAM”
5. “yo baby your feet must be tired because you’ve running through my mind all day! COME HERE!”

Another character who throws out very good pick up lines for girls is Johnny Bravo

Very weird style. Amusing, if you are into it.

However, if you really want something that works, you should either test it yourself on the girls, or you should just copy the phrases from those who know what they are doing. You won’t believe this, but shocking lines like these:

6. “I want to put a baby in your tummy”

7. “I like salad”

Work.

The Main Lesson That You Get From This, However, Should Be

You can say whatever you please (almost) as long as you say it right. And even if you screw up, you should just continue talking as if nothing happened – the majority of girls find that the personality of guys is what makes the difference, not looks or fancy lines.

I mean, a line is like only a few seconds long. It is not like she will drop her pants after just a few seconds. Usually doesn’t happen that way, at least, so you’d better have something else going on.

Oh, and again, you can say whatever you please to as long as it is congruent to your personality.

One guy was successfully picking up chicks in Barcelona by shoving hips into girls and pretending like he was a tiger or something. Weird, right? Well, that’s why girls are emotional.

Before Going For a Kiss

I assume that you already have a woman in mind who you like and want to kiss for the first time (maybe, on your first date?), or who you want to improve your kissing techniques with.

Even if you don’t have anyone in mind, and you are just interested in how to kiss a girl in a bar, as in when to make a move, etc., this article will still be helpful to you. Don’t be nervous is my advice when you are trying to kiss a stranger. Well, we will get back to it later.

How To Kiss A Girl From Cold Approach

If you are trying to kiss a girl from a cold approach, as in when you just saw her in a bar or in a nightclub, then I will just tell you that the best mindset I can give you is this – don’t make this a big deal even if you “screw up”.

Well, in fact, it is very hard to screw it up – the girl either likes you or she doesn’t, and if she does like you, then you will get your kiss eventually.

The problem with “making this a big deal” is that you will become even more of a wussy, and wait for a “perfect moment”, or for “when she gives you a VERBAL permission (yeah, of course), which you will most probably never get, unless she is a very straightforward type of woman.

Do You Need Any Signals To Go For A kiss?

Well, this is a harsh question. The thing is, there ARE probably signals that a girl gives out when she is ready to be kissed, like some special kind of eye contact, body language, pupil dilution or whatever, but I never paid attention to that.

Well, the funny thing is, even when there are NO SIGNALS ABSOLUTELY (as in, she is like just chatting to you), and you just go for a kiss – you can get it. And when you REALLY feel like she is ready to kiss you (she doesn’t break the eye contact or whatever), she may reject you. Probably because of some upbringing issues.

How To Kiss A Girl

This is probably for the times when you actually have a girlfriend who you can experiment with.

Let’s first say that most men and women don’t know how to kiss. While an average girl is on average more experienced in intimate things than an average man, mostly due to the fact that girls have it easier when it comes to finding a partner to fool around with, the majority of girls still don’t know how to kiss properly.

From what I’ve seen, it seems that there are different opinions on this, and the final result is such that different people like different things.

Some guys and girls will love it when there is a tongue down the throat, some will love face eating, and some will prefer some more romantic type of makeout.

Here are some tips that you can get from a girl regarding how to kiss a girl:

• Be prepared, whether it may be making sure that your breath is fresh or whatnot
• Test the waters
• Wait for the right moment
• Get permission for the kiss
• Approach for the kiss
• Do not kiss just for the sake of getting over this prelude
• Pay attention to your partner’s cues
• Breathe
• Use your hands

Well, these are good tips. The best tip, however, is to pay attention to what that girl likes. However, it is also a good idea to lead the girl (you are the man in the interraction, after all, right?).

That means, for example, if you want to just throw her on your knees and kiss her like a Zorro, then go for it. It will be fine as long as she likes you.

And if she doesn’t like you – just stay adamant, like nothing happened. Be silly – like it is a game between a young boy and a young girl who are both just checking each other out .

Lastly, (long) What If She Rejects Your Kiss Attempt?

It doesn’t matter if she rejects you or not – the funniest thing is that by going for a kiss you usually build attraction. Yes – even when she rejects you, she will probably get more attracted to you.

But AGAIN, there is a LIMIT for this. If you are a complete newbie, then just go gorilla on all the girls you see, and let your natural intuition take care of this. Just do it enough to get over that “kissing anxiety”, as in the weird question inside your head that goes like this:”Should I kiss her or not?”

The moment you hear yourself asking this… it is probably the time to kiss. But you can still get rejected even the intuition tells you that it is THE MOMENT. Lol, can’t believe I’m going so analytical about this – please tell me later in comments where I got wrong or whatever. It is very hard to explain something that is so natural (although there are definitely dating coaches who can do it better than me).

The thing I can tell you for sure is that… when you GO FOR A KISS… and you GET REJECTED, quote on quote… she WILL BECOME more attracted. Like, how you feel like the interaction is dying out (too much talking – she gets bored), and you go for a kiss… usually you can save the interaction. Really . Happened to me so many times.

And when you do NOT escalate and let it stay in “friend-to-friend” type of vibe… you usually lose the girl. Well, unless you have some other kind of thing going on in your interaction, like having a very interesting conversation (and she just happens to be the type who likes “stimulating conversations”).

Stop This Thought Process (Applicable Not To All Types Of Rejections)

Theoretically, from socio-biological standpoint, being rejected by a girl should not faze you AT ALL. You are, after all, a man – the solid foundation of this whole society. The main driving force of the society’s survival (men, after all, were warriors, politicians, inventors). What if in the cavemen’s era, you got rejected by… a girl… and that would make you so despondent that you couldn’t even lift your finger to hunt for the next meal? Well, I will tell you what would happen – your tribe and relatives would starve.

It should be said that there are different types and degrees of the severity of rejection. Are we talking about a random girl in a bar who you don’t even know? Well, from my experience, the more you approach and meet girls in bars, the less scary it becomes to approach them… and the more indifferent you become to them being rude to you.

However, it is also true that you can never become 100% adamant and emotionless. You just become better at it with experience. (Do I want to continue this thread of thought? Not sure. But you get my point.)

So How To Deal With Rejection From A Girl?

Let’s assume that you are talking about being rejected by a girl not in a bar, but… say, in a situation where that girl was in your social circle, and you knew each other well enough and long enough, and you tried to ask her out… and she just said “no”. In most cases, girls will try to be nice with you, too.

(For some reason, girls always try to be nice with the guys who “are nice”. Which does not mean that they look at these men as potential lovers.)

I tend to think that the severity of rejection is directly proportional to the amount of emotional investment that has been put into the relationship.

That is also probably why you can become adamant to rejection from girls in bars, etc.. as long as you do NOT put too much value on those girls. (Remember – in those cases, you don’t even KNOW the girls.)

This is also probably why people who are trying to mask their real personality with pick-up lines and techniques… they, too, can be “adamant” to rejection from random girls. However, once they expose themselves, their true self that is, the problem of inner insecurity comes back. Some even start shaking and crying from what I’ve heard. They placed the whole emotional responsibility for rejection for lines and “that other on-stage persona, or mask”, and didn’t put THEMSELVES and THEIR personality on the line.

If you read the stories of other men who are good with women, though, you will notice that it becomes a little bit harder when you fall in love with a girl. The emotional investment is larger in these cases, and the pain can haunt you for MONTHS… after you break up (or if she rejects you, if you were never in a relationship to begin with – in this case, the main culprit is probably you; never should have put so much value on that girl, eh?).

Exact Thins For How To Deal With Rejection From A Girl

The steps I got from other men are pretty simple actually. So we’ve identified that the situations can be a little bit different, depending on the circumstances of that rejection.

Basically, and the following tips may sound a little bit too harsh to some of you, guys… but here are the tips:

If you got rejected by a girl in cold approach, which means in a bar or a club, then forget about her. Congratulate yourself that you did approach her to begin with . In a sense, you can start approaching other hotties that are around you. But I’ve found that “reframing” that rejection so that you could get GOOD emotions, instead of BAD, is what tends to work most of the time.

If you got rejected by a girl in social circle… well, stay unfazed. As far as I know, she never was your girlfriend to begin with, right? Just stay yourself and continue your life. Be friendly/continue mildly being flirty with her. Hit on other girls. As a man, you can’t let ONE RANDOM girl ruin your whole confidence, after all.

As for advice for “rejection” in an already established relationship, I’m don’t feel qualified to give you THAT here, though, as this area is a bit tricky… and I don’t think that there are many who can give you legit advice in this area. However, the tips I got from others on how to deal with rejection in love were: first and foremost, you should stop contacting that girl altogether.

Sleeping with 10 other girls will not cure that pain. Neither will it help if you are constantly around that girl. I know a guy who is travelling around the world, “switching girlfriends” on the go, and he said exactly that to me. Listen to him – at least he knows how it feels like to break up with a girl that you really care about.

You don’t own each other. Yes, there may be some emotional connection, but ultimatelly, you do not own each other. (The whole concept of marriage is not natural, as well – as far as I know, it is just one of the society’s construct that was meant to do something like preserve the territories. An institution that came once people became aware of the concept of “ownership”, as in when they started doing agriculture.)

That does not mean that you need to be super rude and mean to a girl, on the verge of abuse, although this can work on certain types who crave emotional rollercoasters (majority of women).

So How To Please A Woman?

Well, from what I know… the only way to please a woman is to listen to her needs. And give her what she wants. Does she want you to be nice to her? There are no “right” moves for every kinds of situations – every situation calls for different types of action, after all. At some moments, being mean, cocky and funny is the way to go, and at other moments, this will only make her really … NOT like you . Not like you for LACKING the emotional attunement that is required to “read her”.

(Emotional attunement is something that can also be called social intuition. This is another yet skill that can be mastered if you just practice talking to women enough. Another argument against the notion that you are either born as good with women, or you are not.)

If you are asking this only to learn how to impress a girl that you don’t know how to attract, though, then you probably should go that other article.

Many women say, by the way, that the reason why they make it hard for men in relationship is because they “stopped being the man she fell in love with”. That may be another argument for why you should always be authentic to yourself. Set the right expectations (“rules”) from the start, and abide by them like they are laws placed by Gods.

So, basically, you have to possess two things at once – knowledge how to read her emotions and give her the kinds of emotions she craves at THAT money, and being adamant, fully comfortable and confident in yourself. Being the man . Unfazed.

If the girl is too hard to deal with… too much emotional rollercoaster to please… then she probably isn’t the type of girl you would want, in the first place. Get abundance .

Surely, browse around.

Here are our most popular articles

• What women want in a man
• How To Ask A Girl For Her Phone Number
• How To Get A Girl To Like You

This website is exactly around the topic of dating tips for men.

Just remember that it is ultimately your responsibility of whether you are ready to open your mind to this new reality or not.

All tips here are 100% legit.

Browse around.

I think when it comes to college game, it is very important to isolate your chick. Not come off too aggressive like you would do in cold approach.

Always be dangerous. Always make her feel like you are “bad”, and that she can get it from you.

However, don’t be too blatant. Control it.

My guys tell that you need to flirt with all girls (probably so that the girl of your interest would look at you and decide that you are “that” kind of guy she would hook up with).

In any case, college game should be easy. Girls will probably not be as bitchy as they will be in big cities.

Just make your move .

And contact me for more questions about dating.